Coming up on my last treatment is huge. I’m SO excited to get to say that I’m done, but at the same time I’m really dreading doing one more round. I hate how the treatments make me feel, being run down and totally unmotivated to do anything. Only one more, but that’s one more that I have to do. It shouldn’t be a big deal at this point to do one more, but I won’t lie I hate the thought of it.
As of today I have completed 5 of my 6 rounds of chemo. Each one has definitely gotten harder. The first round was awful because I was so jacked up on the steroids that I couldn’t calm down or sleep; this last round was awful because I was so achy and tired I couldn’t get up and go! I think the shot that I have to get the day after chemo is almost as bad as chemo itself. The shot is to make my white blood count stay high, which makes my entire upper body feel like it’s been in a wreck. Food has been a problem for me, too. Things just don’t taste right and I may like something once and then not want it again. I really shouldn’t complain, though. All in all, I think I’ve had a fairly easy go of things. I’ve not been sick once; and that’s a huge praise. And after the week of chemo I have two good weeks.
Things that I’m most looking forward to once I’m done are growing my hair back, feeling like myself again, not being tired, food tasting normal and did I mention growing my hair back?!?! I’m also hoping that I can stop with the hot flashes! (I’m sure that Dan is hoping for that, too, since I have about froze him out of the house.) Having hair again though, is my biggest desire. I’m so tired of constantly having something on my head (that’s not my hair). I miss washing my hair, combing it, blow drying it… I told Dan that I had better never hear myself say that I’m having a “bad hair day” again!!!
I’m really looking forward to this nightmare of mine being over. I’m praying that God has completely healed me and that we never have to hear “its cancer” again.