Dan has suggested that I write some more since it has been a while since my last post and now I am officially halfway through my treatments. So here goes…
Treatment 3 (halfway mark) has definitely been easier than the 2nd round of chemo. Physically I’ve been fine thru both, but emotionally round 2 was a real kicker. I think that was the first time in my life that I’ve actually experienced real depression; and it wasn’t fun. There were about 2-3 days that I didn’t want to leave the house or be with anyone but at the same time, I didn’t like being alone. I couldn’t shake my thoughts of fear and just being down about my situation in general. No matter how hard I tried to get over my feelings, I just couldn’t. Thankfully it only lasted a few days and I did snap out of it. The doctor said all that was normal; especially since the chemo I’m on is affecting my ovaries and hormone levels.
Round 3 is the halfway mark and maybe that has helped my mood! Thankfully I’ve not been sick, just some minor side effects. I’ve been tired a couple of days and my tastes are messed up again. The oddest things with food will gross me out. I’ve had an especially hard time with white bread making me sick just looking at it… crazy, I know! Meat is also one of the things that make me want to gag! I can eat it as long as I didn’t cook it or have to touch it first. I’m sure that in a few more days everything will be fine again. The bad/good side to chemo every three weeks is that I’m just starting to really feel good again and then it’s time for the next round.
Not only am I halfway to being done with chemo, but I’m going back to work in one week. I’m really looking forward to having at least 2 weeks of a somewhat normal schedule back in my life! My company has been so good to me and will work with me during my last 3 chemo rounds. I think just being around people and having something to do with my time other than think about what I can’t control will be a nice change of pace for me. It will be good to be around my friends and back to a routine. Plus the holidays are coming, so that should make the time go faster, too!
Race for the Cure was this weekend and we had such an awesome team! Holly’s Hooters won 2nd place for fundraising in the “friends/family” category. We had 67 team members and I’m guessing that we had at least 30+ people that made it to the race. It was a great experience, but one that I wish I didn’t have the “special” shirt for. It was nice to share the day with my mom (also a breast cancer survivor). It makes me sorry that I didn’t make sure I was there for her all the previous years. Until this year I’ve always had something else going on that weekend; now I’m just hoping that I’ll have the opportunity to complete this race several more times.
All in all, I’m doing really well. Actually, I’m doing great. I’m wishing this was over and that I had my life back, but I know that life will be forever different. At this point I would settle to have my hair back and a chest that didn’t feel like little footballs from the high school games. Time had passed so fast until cancer showed up. Now it feels like I’m living in slow motion. I’ve never wished for time to pass fast, but I’m counting down ‘till January 2011!